If you have any questions for Esoteric, please email empowered79@aol.com.

Gold diggers

Hello all,

I know its Tuesday and  I was supposed to have written a post yesterday, but my writings only come out of inspiration and yesterday I wasn’t inspired. LOL Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend, I know I did despite not being able to catch the new Kevin Hart movie, Laugh at my pain. I will catch it though, just need to get a date to bring with me. Hmmm, I have to ponder on that one. Today’s subject is often a controversial one as it stirs up emotions/feelings from both sexes. The term “gold diggers” is defined by urbandictionary.com as ” a female who admires successful men as opposed to mediocre and unaccomplished men”. She lives by the code “lack of money can’t buy love and happiness”.  She can often be found at major sporting events, concerts, the clubs, bars and  anywhere in a neighborhood near you. However, the website also mentions that: “While some gold diggers are males… they are overwhelmingly females since older wealthy women can’t birth children which is a major stumbling block and deterrent to male gold digging”. So as you can see, I’m not picking on just women, gold diggers come in both forms.  Today, I’m talking about the women as I can only relate from my own personal dating experiences. Sorry ladies. In my experiences, I’ve found dealing with a gold digger is quite appalling. It is a turn off  for myself and other men because that person is primarily dealing with you on the strength of your pockets and what they can obtain from them for their own personal gratification. This is detrimental to relationships everywhere because it often it often plants the seeds of mistrust and deceit in the hearts of men who are actually out there looking for someone to be there for who they are not what they have. Particularly, successful men. The gold digger experience often creates a personal conflict within the mind of a self made man as he’s constantly wondering whether the lady he’s with is there for the way he makes her feel and how he treats her or because he takes her out to fancy places and buys her Christian Louboutin shoes. I’ve learned, sometimes it is not easy to spot whether or not the woman you are involved with or plan to be involved with is a gold digger or not. Yes, they are quite crafty at times. Take this example into consideration.  I was shopping at Walmart, and noticed this one particular woman who was the epitome of beauty/body all in one. I glanced for a second and resumed my shopping and as I’m passing by the dvd section of the store, the same woman I was just admiring purposely bumps into me and then smiles at me. Of course, I bit the bait, I was as vulnerable as a fish being shot at in a barrel of water. We exchanged pleasantries and numbers and I resumed my shopping. The first few weeks of us hanging out was great! The sex was phenomenal, she had her own job, car and place and was a sweetheart. It was seeming too good to be true. Almost on cue, as always, it was. Come to find out, she was losing her place, behind on her car note, and on not necessarily in good graces with her employer due to her attendance problems. Naturally as a man who doesn’t believe in letting his friends hang out to dry when they’re in a bad predicament, I extended what help I could to her. Boy,was I in for it. SMH Before you know it, I was starting to notice every time we went out to eat whether it was Baskin Robbins or AppleBee’s she was ordering the most expensive items offered. At first, I didn’t say anything as I thought, “well maybe she just  has particular taste and there’s nothing wrong with that as I have the same”.  This blog is named after for people with distinct and unique interests anyway. So as time carried on, I noticed she started asking me to buy her expensive perfume among other things. I gave in at the beginning as I was thinking this was going to be my woman and I don’t mind doing nice things for my lady. However, it dawned on me that every time I didn’t communicate something the way she liked, disagreed with her or simply said no to her spoiled ways, she had an attitude only Satan could compare with. As time grew on, I concurrently grew more and more skeptical of her intent when it came to dealing with me. We eventually stopped talking for a little while and moved on or so I thought. One day out of nowhere she gives me a call and asks me to help her because she was stranded on the side of the road somewhere supposedly going to a job interview. At the time I was working and already had attendance issues with my job due to my mother’s ailing health. I told her as soon as I could get my boss to give me the ok, I would come to her rescue. Time passed on and when I finally got the green light from my boss, she told me that she didn’t want me to come get her or change her tire but give her the money to get her car fixed. I was through! That was the last straw and I left her to her own resources. I then asked her whether or not she was dealing with me for the things I could do or for the person I am and she wasn’t able to answer that as she sidestepped the question with other nonsense. That was one situation and I’m sure there are millions of them like it and even more graphic than this. I refuse to deal with someone who will deal with me for what I have because at the end of the day if I suddenly am broke, she will be nowhere to be found and in the arms of the next benefactor she finds.  In the end, I’ve come up with this conclusion : A woman should be able to provide for herself financially with or without a man. Now if she’s unable to provider for herself under certain specific circumstances, then she should be able to get that support from her other half. Otherwise that’s just plain lazy/old-fashioned and they usually fall into the gold digger/leech category.A woman who allows her finances to be dictated by someone she isn’t even married to is taking a gamble and as they say if you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail! If he has money, then he has money not y’all! He can leave you and leave you hanging at any point of the relationship and you’ll be powerless in the relationship. Feel free to share your personal experiences and thoughts.

Good Night All.

I’m back!/friends

Hello all,

Its been a while since I’ve updated or even glanced at this blog. I missed all of you dearly, but as you know life has its own plans and can be a full-time job in itself.  In that time, I’ve gained and lost two jobs, lost my mom to Cancer in May of this year and quite a few other things that have made my plate full. This time around I’m going to do my best to keep the topics interesting, posts often, and hopefully I can retain your attention in the process. So, my birthday is the 25th, and I’m celebrating in Vegas. Does anyone have any suggestions on what are some interesting things to do out there? This will be my first trip out there, money isn’t really an issue and I’m going solo as my friends are victims of the recession. So any suggestions given will be appreciated. In the meanwhile, I have a question for y’all. Don’t you hate it when you have friends that you want to believe in when it comes to relying on them, you give them a lot of chances and they let you down?  I have a friend with whom I came up with the idea of going to Vegas as a good way to celebrate my birthday and we talked about all of the fun we could have, things we could do out there and even went into specifics as far as what hotel we would stay and etc. We talked about it quite a few times and every time we got down to the actual planning, they went AWOL. The first excuse was that they wanted to talk to someone who they’ve supposedly been there with about some of the hot spots there and call me back so we can finish the reservations. Not! Two weeks later(shaking my head as I type this), they’re not answering their phone until I hit them up with a text saying that I’m going to start the reservation process over again. I’m thinking, “cool, not leaving for another 3 weeks, so I guess I can still get some kind of deal”. So as I’m making the reservations I say,” Look, let me know before I purchase this ticket if you’re really going because I know how you do!”. They bs’d me again they told me that they left their laptop cord with a friend and that they will call me the next morning so we can simultaneously book our trip. Of course, the call never came and I sent them a text saying that I was making the reservations with no exceptions and then they responded as expected. They told me they’ll call me back again just to check out their money situation. They surprised me and text me back saying that they wont be financially ready for the trip until two days after I originally scheduled to be back home. SMH. All of that just to let me down? I told them I’m going without you as I’m not trying to be in town for my Bday.  I don’t understand why they didn’t just say that in the first place, as I would’ve booked my trip a long time ago and got a better rate but I’m still going anyway! Hopefully I will still have a ball even though I’ll be by myself out there. Anyhow, my question for you is, “would you keep this person as a friend or stay away from them for being a notorious bs’er?”

Question #16

Hello All! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and all that good stuff! I’m a little late on the Christmas and early on the New Year, but its the thought that counts! LOL Anyway, I’ve been on hiatus due to the holiday and the start of what I hope to be a great new beginning! I’ll be mostly writing my posts at night due to a change in my daily scheduling but I will most definitely keep coming at you all with the topics! Hope you enjoy today’s subject! 2009 as we know it is almost over. We have yet but a couple of days in this eventful year. This year we began the first year of an African American White House Administration, loss our Beloved Gloved One, and a whole host of others mostly during the summer and a few after. This has been a year of tears, fears, a slight recovery from the recession that has plagued us and innovations galore. This has been the year in which we had a brave man land on a river in a plane and survive with all surviving and a lot of tempers from the Middle East and Korea rising. So my question for you is, “With all of the events that have happened this year, which one surprised you the most?”

Question#15

Hello everyone! We have only have two days before Christmas! I hope you all have been nice this year and not naughty! LOL Here’s today’s post.  Many of us act like we don’t do it but we do. We’re looking at all of the other things in the newspaper but we all wind up on the horoscope section at some point and time. Then there’s the commonly said phrase,” I don’t believe in that stuff!”. Whatever. If such is the case you wouldn’t even glance in that section of the newspaper or go online to that horoscope page or website. We all as humans have a natural curiosity about the unknown and what our future may hold.  Whether you’re a Cancer and you wonder if you’re going to get that promotion or a Libra(the best in my opinion,hint, hint) who wants to know if love is in the cards for the near future, we all follow those predictions just to see if there is an inkling of relevance to our personal life. Some may even follow the charts so religiously that they may not date someone whom is a particular sign out of fear that it wont work out.  There are others whom are simply tuned into it so much that they worry about whether or not their sign is in a certain state such as one’s sign being in Jupiter or such. That’s where it gets confusing for  me and I just sit back and watch what happens in life naturally. I can admit though, when reading some of the books on this subject, there are some traits that are associated with certain signs that hold to be true for the most part when it comes to people who fall under that particular sign. In spite of this, I ultimately believe all of us are individuals and should be dealt with accordingly. My question for all today is “does Astrology have any bearings on your thoughts or decisions that you make or do you not follow them at all”? As always comments are deeply appreciated.

Question#14

Hello everyone! Christmas is only 3 days away, have you done all your shopping? I hope so. In the meanwhile, enjoy today’s subject! Yesterday marked the official start of winter , our coldest season to endure. This is a time where we are hit with cold to freezing rain, snow, icy roads, wind chill factors and many other variants of displeasure. As a kid you have the snowball fights, snow days  away from school and  particularly for the boys, football in the snow. This is definitely a unique time of the year for all. This is also a period of time when the most relationships and babies are conceived. I think this is a direct result of  not being able to get out as much as people normally do during the other seasons. There is also a stigma out there that many believe people get together in the winter and break up in the spring. SMH. They say these people get together because its cold and you need someone to be “cuddled up” with to keep you warm during this cold season. Then, when its warm you no longer have the need for that person to keep you warm. SMH While I find this concept juvenile albeit funny at the same time, it is reality for some and happening as I write this post. This is truly the season of feelings LOL.  So my question for you guys today is, “Have you ever been in a  winter until spring relationship?”  As always comments are appreciated.

Question #13

Hello all! I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as its back to the rat race today. A lot of us in the northeast got hit with a lot of snow over the weekend and as a result were snowed in. Anyway, I hope you enjoy todays post as the snow melts outside. While in the house this weekend, I got the chance to listen to the radio and as I listened, I thought to myself, “I haven’t really listened to the radio in quite some time”. As a matter of fact the truth of the matter is that I hardly listen to the radio. With the invention of Ipods, mp3 players, internet radio, satellite radio and an endless amount of Cds available I find that I’m not the only one. Some people listen to radio in their car on the way to work, at work(if it’s permitted) or running their errands but I think thats where a majority  of the listening ends. Before Tv’s invention radio was it. All of your favorite shows and news came from that box in the living room that the family gathered around. Even after Tv was invented, we still had radio pioneers like the great Hal Jackson, Petey Green, Frankie Crocker and many others to carry the torch and provide us with some great listening sessions. They played all the songs that we loved, hated, and adored. We cried, laughed, jammed and shared countless emotions while hearing these tunes. They provided us with the news of the death of MLK, the space shuttle disasters, the Atlanta child murders of the 80’s and many other events. We still have great radio talents on the air today as we still have the great Hal Jackson on the radio on Sundays  on WBLS at 94 years old(pretty amazing in my opinion to still be doing his thing) , we have the Steve Harvey morning show, some have the Tom Joyner show, the Ed Lover show and even the Angie Martinez show. Wendy Williams also had a great following until she recently made the transition to the small screen. Also while we have the age of “reality Tv” peaking people are simply tuning in less. Some complain that the stations only play certain artists, others say they are tired of hearing the same songs over and over and some just don’t have the time as they watch Tv or are on the internet. “While those mentioned are the exception in radio do you think listening to the radio is slowly becoming extinct as a form of entertainment?” As always comments are appreciated.

Question #12

Hello Everyone! Today is Friday! TGIF! Aren’t you glad that we made it to this day! Of course you are! This is the last post of the week so, enjoy!  Yesterday after speaking with a dear friend of mines we came up with today’s question. (thanks Crys!) In life, mostly everyone that gives a damn about their life and their position in it are trying to strive for the better. Some of us are going to school while working, working two jobs, getting enhanced job training,studying classes to open their own business and many other things. In other words we are all trying to be like cream and rise to the top as once said by a colleague of mines. The Bible even speaks of this with this paraphrased verse:”To whom much is given, much is required”. It takes hard work to attain the goals we set for ourselves and our future well being. Typically, the more arduous it is to get where you want, the bigger the reward tends to be. I tip my hat off to those out there who are going about this alone. I believe they often have it the hardest. They go about seeking out an enhanced life without the support of others and the constant push of others that is often needed. Working hard to achieve your goals is noble in the sense that instead of remaining complacent with your current status, you choose to dig deep within yourself and seek a higher status or calling in life. Friends to give advice along the way while you’re having a discouraging moment and  family to just give any kind of support whether it be financial, emotional, mental, or something simple as watching your kids for you while you study, is essential to one’s success. You count on these two groups of people to be your backbone when you feel there is none and your strength in time of weakness. It is also important that these individuals are positive, want the best for you, are not “haters” and most importantly in my opinion, don’t have any ulterior motives behind their help. When are surrounded by an all star cast of such great people, there is often no limit to what you can become! This is why I say, that those whom make it without a supporting cast are truly special! So, my question today for all of you out there, is what do you do when all of the family and friends you depend upon for support and guidance are the most negative people around you? Please feel free to comment on this issue as it may help many others including yourselves. Enjoy your weekend and I’ll see you all on Monday!

Question #11

Hello all! Today is Thursday and we have only 1 day until TGIF! I know a lot of you were happy at that thought! So here we go with today’s question.  When my generation was growing up, we listened to mostly records and cassette tapes. Originally we would get that favorite album out put it on the record turntable set the needle, sometimes placing a quarter on the needle so it wouldn’t skip and listen to good music.   Then came the advent of the cassette tape. Man, we’d get some blank tapes and sometimes tape the radio because we wanted to hear our favorite songs over and over again or a certain mix from DJ Red Alert or DJ Kid Capri especially if we didn’t have our own copies of the songs. Exclusives were really exclusive back then also because we couldn’t go and download them back then. As a matter of fact the internet was almost never heard of during those times. There even was a trend amongst people in the hood who used to put tissue or tape over the top corners of a cassette to dub over a tape that they no longer wanted to listen to or just simply didn’t like. LOL We sure can be creative! LOL As in the words of the late great Notorious B.I.G. “we let our tapes rock until our tapes popped!”. Then came the internet takeover, we no longer had to wait for songs to come out because with a certain file sharing program we could simply download the song if we had the right search string and even more so with the invention of the MP3 player, such as the Ipod, Zune and many others, we no longer had to have a physical copy of the song.  This has led to lower record sales and tightened the profit margin of many record companies, publishing companies and royalty management companies . This trend has affected artists both new and old. So my question for you today is do you think with the state of technology and its potential for advancement, that we will eventually wipe out the need for record companies because of insatiable appetite for new music?  As always comments are deeply appreciated.

Question #10

Hello everyone! It’s Hump Day and we’re all another day closer to TGIF. As promised, I’m back with another question for you to ponder on. Enjoy! As we wind down the year and think of all that has gone on in the country, one of the most discussed subjects in the media and our homes is healthcare. This subject was one of the major platforms that were included in President Obama’s campaign. This issue is a serious and dire issue due to the fact that there are some 30-40 million adult Americans with little coverage or none at all. This is the only industrialized and advanced nation with such a huge problem.  Canada, our neighbors across the border, solved this issue for themselves a long time ago. So, why is it that the greatest nation on Earth has a problem with it? Well, that depends on who you ask.  The insurance industry says rising costs and a recessive economy. The Republicans blame the Democrats and vice versa. At this rate our population surely will dwindle in abundance due to this gross negligence. People are getting sick and dying everyday because of this issue that hasn’t been dealt with properly. A lot of people try to take care of their health issues at home with OTC medications and treatments instead of going to the emergency room. The motivation behind this pattern of action or rather lack of proper action is often due to a lack of funds to afford the enormous hospital bill that is often sent shortly after one of these ER visits. The average worker in a low-income household barely has enough money to cover their necessities let alone afford some of these ridiculous premiums that these rich insurance companies charge. I myself have been a witness to such. At my last place of employment when I and others in my company became eligible for the health benefit offered by my company, my boss brought out only one application for 4 of us and brought out 4 waiver sheets. He did such knowing at the salary we were getting paid that we would not be able to afford those benefits and  the sadder part of the equation was that we worked closely with the clients that offered the benefit and still couldn’t catch a break! Just the other day, I read a story about a man who had a infection in his leg and didn’t go to the ER because he couldn’t afford it, his friends begged him to go and he wouldn’t, don’t you know, he was found laying in his bed dead the next day by his friends. This has to stop! Point blank period! There is too much at stake for the victims (people who need insurance) to continue this trend of suffering. I know this issue amongst others weighs heavily on the president’s mind, but he’s not the only one with a hand in this. There are senators, congressmen,governors, and many, many more whom also have their say in this issue. At one point and time, there was even a larger amount of idiots(yes, I said idiots!) who were shooting down the idea of helping others at the cost of saving money for the future that isn’t even promised to them! They created a bunch of lies, and tales of deceit, often twisting the truth of the proposed policies that were on the table.  My thing is this, if you are opposed to what is being proposed, then what do you have as an alternative?  I think marching and calling names and creating chaos, doesn’t quite solve the issue at hand. It just slows down the process and people continually suffer. There is an old saying for this, “If you don’t having nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all”.  My version of this statement is a bit more tactful and a lot more explicit but, I will not say such out of respect for the integrity I’d like this post to maintain. Meanwhile the insurance companies sit back, relax ,rest easy and get bailed out by the same people whom they are oppressing. There was even one major former vice presidential candidate, whose name I will not mention out of respect but also I’m not willing to give any more attention to, who had the biggest hand in twisting one of the options that would have come out of the healthcare reform. She riled up a bunch of people whom either have insurance and are therefore in a more privileged situation or just plain ol’ crazy! Once again, I say this must stop! We must stop this hemorrhaging of our moral fabric and goodwill towards our fellow man. In the end we may all differ in opinion on exactly what must be done, but it will be better is something is done than to have nothing done at all! So, back to my question, In your opinion, do you think that healthcare reform with a public option will be worked out and ready to go within the next 12 months? As always comments are deeply appreciated.

Question #9

Hello everyone! It’s Tuesday, a day before “hump day” and I’m back with yet another question for your perusal. As I listened to Ghostface Killah’s new album he has a song on there called “Paragraphs of Love” I gathered inspiration for today’s subject. The song basically touches on how when he saw this one particular lady, he was mesmerized and he even went as far as calling it love at first sight. Coming up in life and love, there was always talk of “the one”. They say this is the person whom is your soul mate and from the moment you first laid eyes on that person, you knew y’all would be together.  As a matter of fact, there are a myriad of statements that circulate amongst men and women. For instance, one such statement that some older men tell younger men, that you only get 3 true loves in life and after that you’re done. When I  hear that, it sounds kind of sad especially if you don’t know who that may have been in your past or if you’ve even met that person as if yet. Another statement is that  you know that you found the right one when you get furious at them and you still like them in spite of all that they do to sometimes tick you off. While that statement is true, I still think that it is too general. So, that leads to this curious question;Do you believe in true love at first sight? As always comments are inspiration for more posts and deeply appreciated.

Question #8

Hello everyone! How are y’all? Yeah, yeah, I know. The weekend was short and cold if you live in the northeast and it’s Gloomy Monday. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoyed your weekend and are at least enthusiastic about seeing my next post. Today I’m going to talk about  New Year’s resolutions. As we wind down the year known as 2009, its that time of the year of again.  Time to break out the champagne or liquor for those who have a bit of  “social drinker” within. Time to get snazzy for that party you’re going to or to that religious gathering you’ll be at or in  some cases time to party in Times Square freezing your butt of  and risking frostbite at the same time. The time in which we say, “out with the old and in with the new”.  The time when after we’ve reflected on the the past 12 months and we’re wondering what lies ahead in a mysterious futures. Some of us are coming into the new year single and others are beginning yet another year into a relationship. Some have lost their jobs in the past year and vice versa. Traditionally, a lot of people are making so called “resolutions” to bring in the year in a attempt to improve themselves, whether it be in the body, soul and mind. A vast majority  keep up these oaths until somewhere around spring and then they go back to their old habits. I can admit, I too have been amongst that majority. While it is noble to go beyond your natural self and make some changes in your life for the better, it is often easier said than done. Old habits truly die hard whether it be to put the Breyers away and substitute it with low fat frozen yogurt or to put that pack of Newports away for good and replace it with gum or a patch.  Life can simply overwhelm ones self at times depending on your level of  stress tolerance and sometimes one just has to have some sort of getaway to cope.  Others are simply great at starting things and have a hard time keeping up the trend. Such is life.Considering these factors, why do you think it is so hard to  for people to keep their New Years Resolutions throughout the year?  As always, comments are deeply appreciated.

Question #7

Hey everyone! One more day to go until its TGIF! While you’re counting down the hours until the weekend comes, check out this new post. Oh and as always commentary is always appreciated. Also, I might not be able to post tomorrow as I have an important engagement tomorrow, but I will be back on Monday if I don’t post tomorrow. “What goes around comes around, “you reap what you sow, “payback is a mutha—–” and so on, you get where I’m going. I’m talking about karma. There is a growing constituent in the society of today that is in my opinion self agenda driven, selfish at times and often on the minds of many, is their own agenda without the thought of how it affects others. This is seen through actions of people such as those involved in the Madoff scandal, the people whom vandalize religious symbols and places of worship, the people who mistreat and abuse children and countless other miscreants not deserving of mention. They get caught in the act and then all of a sudden they have remorse in their hearts when all they are truly sorry for is that they got caught. I’m not bitter or anything about this, but this is something that is quite disturbing to anyone of sound values when they consider this. I believe karma is universal regardless of whatever spiritual/religious beliefs one may have. It doesn’t come immediately all the time but it definitely makes its appearance at some point in time. So, my question to y’all is karma real or just something someone made up to keep society in line out of fear of a crazy, out of control society?

Question # 6

Hey all! This post came out a little later than normal but nonetheless I hope you find it worth the wait. (Singing) “You got to have something, if you want something, you got to have something if you wanna be with me” , “There’s no romance without finance (2x)”, “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent,”  ” Gotta have  a j.o.b. if you wanna be with me!” Those lyrics come from a familiar R&B song in the 80’s by a singer named Gwen Guthrie. The meaning is definitely in the lyrics. The average man when he hears these lyrics  thinks “oh boy here they go with another gold digger’s  anthem!” I think it depends on how you look at it. In this modern-day and age, more and more women are getting higher salaries from better paying jobs, better education and business opportunities made available. The age of the independent woman is here. More often than not, I often hear stories from some of my associates that tell me that a man’s finances is an important factor that they consider before even looking at him as a viable person for them to get involved with. Some of them even go as far as to say, “I don’t deal with broke n—as!” While I understand that a person’s finances are of some importance when you consider being with them as finances are needed to go on dates, buy gifts, buy gas to get places,etc.; I often wonder what are some of the reasons why finances are important to the opposite sex.  Is it really necessary to put an emphasis on a person’s financial status when you’re just getting to know someone? So my question is, why are finances important to you (if they are), when you consider dealing with someone?

Question#5

Hello all! I’m back today with another interesting question for y’all and I hope you enjoy. The concept of dating has changed vastly over the past 10 years or so with the advent and further acceptance of online dating. At one point and time online dating was met with a certain level of skepticism and was considered taboo in many circles. However, as we all know that perception has considerably changed with the rising popularity of sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Datehookup.com, Plentyoffish.com,Match.com, and many,many others. As  someone whom has tried it before, I actually met a former girlfriend online on a social site. It was almost no different from meeting someone in the club,bar or out in public. Although, it didn’t pan out in the end due to personal differences, It was a cherished experience and I would not object to trying it again. On the flip side of that equation, there have been situations whereas the experiences weren’t as good as my las relationship was and weren’t good at all. Some of you can that have tried online dating can probably identify with some of the cons associated with such. Things such as a person not looking anything like their profile pictures indicate, pictures not being clear but enough to hide that part of their appearance that may not be appealing to you and many other factors. So, with that in mind, my questions for y’all today is Is online dating rewarding in the sense that there are an endless amount of  potential greatness in love and relationships or imminent disaster? Comments are deeply appreciated.

Question #4

Hello people! I hope your weekend went well a mines was pretty much typical and okay to say the least. Anyway, It’s Monday and I’m back with another question for the masses. Over the weekend myself, like many others were bombarded by the whole Tiger Woods(cheetah woods LMAO) cheating scandal news coverage. They talked about the prenuptial agreement, to the 4 women that all claim that he messed around with them. SMH. I don’t feel sorry for the dude as  we reap what we sow but at the same time I’m more than sure he didn’t see this one coming a mile away especially as a result of a minor car accident. Nowadays, this subject has come up on many occasions with people from different walks of life like the late Steve McNair, that governor from South Carolina and I’m sure you’ve all heard your fair share of stories from people that you may know yourself. These stories are quite entertaining without a shadow of a doubt, but at what cost to people’s perception of being true to the one you love and the value of simply doing the right thing? So my question is this, do you think Love and staying faithful to the one you’re with is still possible  these days or has everyone gone off the deep end cheating is a sign of the times? Comments are appreciated.

question #3

Hello all! It’s Friday, Thank God!  I’m back with another of those questions as promised so let’s get to it. If one word were to be voted on as most synonymous with the year 2009, chances are that word would be RECESSION. Though it started initially around 2007, peaked this year all of us have been affected by it at one point in time or another whether it be the loss of a job, someone you knew lost a job, your favorite store went out of business or simply you noticed less money in your wallet,bank account,etc. It has been tough! The obvious out of all of this is that the primary reason this has happened to us is a combination of things. For starters, there has been little if not any at all oversight over our financial stability as a country from crooked bonuses to the Madoff scandal. Some shady characters have been living high off of the hog for some time now. Now combine that with an impotent administration that had us in a war that really didn’t do anything for us but alienate us as a bunch of bullies around the globe all while spending a surplus and creating a deficit and there you have it: A recipe for broke person’s stew or as I call the “empty pockets syndrome”. People have gone absolutely nuts during this period of time and have gone through some extreme measures just to make ends meet.  However, in spite of all that is going on, there has been some bright spots with the election of a capable leader, who has a efficient administration, and who makes decisions that while all may not agree with them they are far better decisions than his predecessor. He has brought us back into the huddle of camaraderie with the rest of the world and though the recession isn’t over completely as some of us still need jobs and changes, he has brought a bright light over a dark dark situation. I believe that he stopped the hemorrhaging of our economy’s value to stand as a leader of the free world. While some may agree and most definitely some will disagree, once this recession is declared completely over, Do you think they will give President Barack Obama his credit due? Time will tell. In the meanwhile what do you think?

Question #2

Hello everyone! I’m back today with a new question and I’m posting early in the day for a change. So here we go: Not too long ago, mainly due to the popularity of the Dipset movement, there was a surge in younger and older men in the hood wearing pink fitted caps, button downs, t-shirts, some with sneakers that were  pink and the list goes on.  I for one am not advocate of men wearing pink unless it’s for Breast Cancer Research, another charity of some sort or simply in fine taste. However, I’m only one among many voices and would like to know what others think.” Can a man wear pink without being considered too flamboyant and still be considered masculine at the same time?” Let me know your opinions people!

25 questions #1

Hello all! I haven’t been on in quite some time due to things that I have going on in life outside the internet.  I got a new job, Thanksgiving  has come and go, Black Friday, and a whole host of  other happenings. Anyway, I’m back and here to announce that I’m going to post a series of questions(25 representing the 25 days of Christmas) in the coming days that I would like to see some feedback on as they are questions that affect all of us at one point in our lives and I’m very curious to see the responses these posts get.So, today here’s my first question.  When it comes to seeking new love after a not so good dating/relationship history, does having a wall up to protect your heart  keep you safe or prevent you from receiving the love you want? So, there you go shoot away with your responses and I’ll see you guys tomorrow with another question.

Love the one you with?

It is in my opinion that on the dating scene; you’re success depends on your definition of success and what value that success holds in your life.  There are moments being single on the dating scene in which you may say to yourself: “Being single is the sh#@!” and there are other moments when it’s not going so well and you say, “I’m going to be single forever!”.  The trick to the trade is to find a balance between the two and stay in a generally positive mood for the most part. One of the most interesting ironies I find is when you often see the common scenario where a person is sought after by many suitors but because it’s not the one that they want they often seem unfulfilled and make claims of loneliness. They might entertain these suitors from time to time and may even deal with them on a no strings attached basis (we all need some type of friend besides Jesus lol) but if you were to ask them were they truly happy, if they are honest, they will almost always say no.  To add insult to injury in their situation, they are likely pursuing someone who isn’t interested or can’t be involved with them due to prior obligations (marriage,current relationship,different sexual preference,etc.); sort of like her very own suitors.  How Ironic! So, in short, I guess the real questions are, “Why do we want what we can’t have?” and “Why don’t we want the people who want us as much they want us?”.  Is it that we are so curious about the unknown ? Is it the pull of curiosity outweighs certainty? Is it that we feel that person or those people aren’t challenges and we think we’re settling for less?  The answers to these questions all depends on who  you’re asking because there is truly a method to everyone’s madness.  I think it comes down to two things: standards and morals.  Standards. Most people have standards and naturally some meet them and others don’t. Morals. Some people have a sense of morals and being that they like doing things a certain way they follow their morals to a tee. Unfortunately, there are those out there that no matter who they’re with they are going to never be satisfied due to greed and no one person is enough for them.  When it’s all said and done, and you’re tired of the dating scene, do you continue to be like the old USAF motto and Aim High or what Luther once sung, “Love the one you with”?

Its that time of the year again…ughhhhh

Ladies and gents, it’s that time of the year again. We’re approaching Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks and that’s usually the day that you spend with your family eating way more than you normally would due to the feast that lies in front of you, watch football,  see that cousin who’s on his Thanksgiving vacation from jail (this doesn’t apply to all, it’s sad but true but there are a few fellow people out there who can definitely relate to what this means) catch up with your family as far as whats new in their lives, laugh at your drunk uncle(almost every American family has one) and just plain ol relax! It’s a day off for most and we try to do as little as possible and for many it is also a day to be grateful for. Then there’s that Black Friday sale that you look forward to the following day in which you can rack up on all of those little things that you’ve been waiting for to go on sale, (if you are a prudent shopper like myself, if not kudos to you!)  and come off with a Kings Ransom of goods for your personal enjoyment. Then you have all the Thanksgiving parties at the bowling alleys, bars, clubs and lounges that you can go to and enjoy completely without worrying about going to work the next day because likely you’re off.  Fast forward a month to a month ahead and there you are at Christmas. For myself and countless others this is a day to rejoice for it is the day that we celebrate Jesus Christ’s arrival in this world in a humble manger. For some its just another day and for business minded organizations and people who do don’t really care for the real meaning of Christmas, it’s all about the gifts. Whether you’re a purchaser or receiver, people are serious about their gifts.  There have been breakups and all kinds of craziness going on because of the gift received or given or even more so, the lack thereof.  They say: “It’s better to give than to receive” but try telling that to someone who purchased a PS3 for their mate and all they received is a sweater and some fruitcake! That’s an instant Friday Night Fight!  Then about a week later, we bring in the New Year. This is a time where we go food shopping for our parents(or family members) to get a nice meal for New Year’s Day and to combat those old myths about bringing in the New Year a certain way.  That New Year’s Eve we gear up in our finest, and head to either one or two general destinations, and for some, both. Some people bring in the New Year in their house of worship, others bring their New Year in a bar, restaurant, hotel, lounge, some go to their place of worship first and goes to the latter afterward and then some of us just stay at home and bring in the New Year quietly.  Oh, I forgot to add one thing, drinking! There’s more drinking going on during this one day than Oktoberfest in Germany which lasts for 16 days! Sadly enough, there are more drunk driving accidents and fatalities at this time as well. So be careful folks! Please, know your limits! But overall, this holiday is generally the most festive one!  For single people like myself and others, the picture I just painted is a general view of how I see the holiday season. However, there is a another side of the story for us single people as well. While we’re there stuffing our faces with our fellow brethren, we see the new additions to the family in the form of children and relationships. The children are always so adorable and the couples look like the very definition of love epitomized. We’re not necessarily envious of these beautiful additions to the family, but if you’re a person like myself whom has no children and is single and also a heart; you can’t help but to relish the love formed by those unions and creations (relationships and babies). Those things are what some of us single people would like to have for ourselves at some point in our lives, whether we admit or not. The thought of having someone there for you to right your wrongs, make you feel like you have a partner in this tough, short life and seeing a miniature version of yourself are gifts of love. As single people, depending on your level of activity on the social scene, you may have a few friends or may even be talking to someone with the  possibility of it going somewhere, but the pinnacle of satisfaction is a meaningful, productive and happy relationship. Think about it. As my man Katt Williams said, single people are very happy and exciting people; so as long as they’re out and about! LOL He also said that when they get home and get in that lonely kitchen, it hits them! This is so true for myself and others ! SMH LOL The holiday season heightens those feelings of loneliness to a point where you miss your most recent relationship or at the very least the good parts of it. It has you going down memory lane back to when you were happy, in love, singing love songs, and having spectacular sex!  However, while those holiday parties take your mind away from these thoughts for a little while and are something to look forward to; coming home alone to a cold, empty bed in a lonely dwelling is  so not cool and for some a dark place in life! LOL There are times when I say to myself, “It’s that time of the year again…ughhhhh” and its then that I prepare myself for those feelings of being alone in order to combat further negative thoughts and actions. I also use that thought as reminder to be grateful for all the things in my life because things can be much worse and for some they actually are.  Nevertheless, I encourage all to do what I do and make the best out of this holiday season and life in general.

Where are they now?

More often than not these days when I flip the channel on my TV, I begin to wonder what happened to all the good Tv shows? While there is some interesting programming on Tv nowadays thanks to the age of reality tv, Youtube on your pc and all things portable, I find these choices hard pressed to compete with some of the shows of past and recent past. Think about it, what talk show has been as interesting and entertaining as the Arsenio Hall Show? What show has made you laugh until you’re about to piss in your pants since the Chappelle Show or In Living Color? What show besides Law&Order has been a must see since NY Undercover? Exactly. None. While some people may or may not remember these shows, me and my peers grew up on these shows they were all absolute MUST SEE TV, and if you missed it, you felt like you missed out on winning lottery ticket, because all of your friends would be talking about it and you would in obscurity until the rerun aired. No DVR , no HULU, nothing. You just had to be there to see it. Lately Tv just hasn’t impressed me with the exception of a few shows and the last two I did find interesting are no longer airing(SouthLand- NBC & Life on Mars-ABC).  While I know cable Tv has its multiple options and such, I often hear gripes from people who do have cable similar to this, “Why am I paying for this garbage, there’s almost never anything on I want to see!”.  Even the cartoons nowadays are completely wack. Remember getting up early as hell before your parents woke up on Saturday morning to watch cartoons such as, Voltron, Transformers, He Man, school house rock, Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Looney Tunes,the Snorks, the Monchchichi’s, and what about on those afternoons you’d rush home to watch Tom & Jerry, the Rescue Rangers, HeathCliffe, Dennis the Menace, the Original TMNT and for slightly younger heads, Ducktales ,Tailspin, Animaniacs and the Tiny Toon Adventures.  Now we’re subjected to all kinds of craziness on Tv, cartoons almost never come on in the afternoon anymore and we wonder why our kids nowadays are so damn grown! We took their childhood away thats why! In this day and age you can always walk down memory lane if you’re feeling nostalgic and go to either Youtube and watch clips of your old shows or maybe if your taste is not too exclusive you can get the show’s seasons on DVD.  I also wonder what were they thinking when they took some of these shows off the air, ratings is always the scapegoat, but more often than not, the true reason is often greed and the common “creative differences” excuse us as viewers are left with. Look at the Chappelle show, that was a funny ass show! Hands down there was no competitor to that show’s humor and creativity. However, it is a widely shared speculation that the show was yanked off of the air because they wanted to interfere with Dave’s concepts and the writing of the scripts. Dave was not having that as that show was mostly his and Neal Brennan’s idea. Also from what I’ve heard the people from the network also never really went after the 50$million they gave Dave, because they were for one still able to recoup from merchandising and DVD sales and also, the possibility of a counter suit against them for what would’ve been racial discrimination. This type of ordeal happens often in Tv land and in Hollywood and is truly unfair. I don’t know if I’ll ever see Tv as good as it was before, but when I think back on memory lane, about all of the good shows I’ve seen over the years, I always ask while flipping the channels back and forth, “Where are they now?”.

Let’s see what happens

One of the most commonly asked questions when you meet someone of the opposite sex that you’re potentially interested in is, “So what are you looking for?”. This question is a staple of those who are experienced in the dating scene as it almost lets you know whether or not you’re wasting time with this individual, whether or not you’d like to date them and so on. This question albeit a good one is not a complete telltale of what the person you’re asking the question is really looking for. This is due in part to deceit, confusion, and my least favorite, grandiose unrealistic expectations. Anyone familiar with Coming to America, can share a laugh on this because it shows all three examples. Take for instance the scene when Hakeem (Eddie Murphy) and Semi (Arsenio Hall) were looking at potential dates for Hakeem in the club. There was the one lady whom said, I want to be a model, then I want to be an actress, and later a singer a model, a director, and she goes on and on. SMH LOL Not only was her bit funny but it could be used to the example of someone with grandiose unrealistic expectations. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone for sticking to their dreams but, we all have to start somewhere and judging by the way she was, that wasn’t likely going to happen anytime soon as she would’ve jumping from one thing to the other more often than sticking to one thing first. There was the woman that Hakeem and Semi met at the club that was attractive and seemed like a good catch until she told them that “she worships the devil” and that could easily be used as an example of deceit as looks can be at times. Finally, there’s the female that wasn’t a female played by Arsenio who wanted to “tear them apart”. LMAO. That is too funny. Now the reason I say this one represents confusion because like today’s society there are more and more people of opposite sexes confused about their sexuality. This can be attributed to a variety of things from past childhood experiences, to the seemingly new fad of being bisexual and society’s current acceptance of allowing everyone to express themselves sexually. Additionally, I’ve discovered another trend of women that appear to be straight when you meet them but when you really get to know them, you find out about a bi-curious past /present which you never expected from someone whom seemingly liked only men. So instead of giving a person the opportunity to lie to me, when I ask them what do they want in the opposite sex, I take what they say only with a grain of salt, because regardless of what they tell me, I’m always going to be saying in the back of my mind, “Lets see what happens”

What subject would you like Esoteric to post more about?
(polls)

Out of town love

For those of you out there that keep up with sports or not, this year’s World Series puts the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies vs. the New York Yankees.  Being Jersey born and raised one would think my natural choice for who I pick to win this series would be the Yankees. Not so fast.  Although I have respect for some of the local teams in my area (a fact I’ll never admit to my boys) I don’t particularly root for the home team.  Now, I know, I know, some of you must be thinking, damn this guy is a jerk and “what planet is he from?”.  Well you’re more than entitled to your opinion. Watching sports since I can remember, I’ve always noticed that the home teams in this area rub me the wrong way inadvertently in some form or another.  For instance, growing up, I was a San Francisco 49ers fan and not only that, Joe Montana was an idol in my eyes.   I used to dream I was Jerry Rice as me and my friends played street football and I put my all into playing football at any given moment.  So anyway, back in 1990 when my team played against the New York Giants in the NFC championship game, and I watched as Leonard Marshall hit my idol and not only give my idol a bruised sternum, bruised stomach, cracked ribs, and a broken hand, I was heartbroken. I can even admit that I cried as I saw them take Joe off the field and saw Joe play for the last time as 49er. That was strike number one. Fast forward to the 2000-2001 Super bowl and you find the Giants vs. the Ravens and I’m actually rooting for the Giants to win because I’m completely pissed off at the Ravens for beating my 13-3 Tennessee Titans and knocking them out of the playoffs. The end result: the Giants never showed up for the game, Ravens 34, Giants 7. That about did it right there! I catch flak all the time from the local fans about my team selection and they further annoy me by being so pretentious and obnoxious when their team wins a few games . This is what makes me seek other teams to maintain my own individuality and also, there is the fact that I like other teams outside this area for a lot of reasons. For one, I base my preference on team culture, style of play, and the players talent. Next, I choose teams that I liken myself to as far as having the characteristics of perseverance, resilience, and heart.  When I like a team I do not switch sides no matter how bad it gets even if that means getting clowned by the locals here and there. I’ve seen my Phillies go through an enormous amount of suffering throughout the years dating all the way back to Joe Carter killing us with a walk off home run back in 1993 to win the World Series. I think personally that I will almost never go for a hometown team again and will stay with my out of town love. In the meanwhile, Go Phillies!

Why did they choose her?

While doing my usual thing of watching the almost perpetually depressing evening news while eating dinner, I posed what I find to be a very  interesting question.  When a tragic crime such as a shooting, stabbing etc. happens in a urban area, “Why do they always choose Boomquesha or someone with a ghetto name to interview on what happened?” I’m all for getting everyone’s account of what happened so that everyone watching can be informed, but damn, thats who they pick? There could be 10-15 decent looking people who look like they have something interesting/intelligent to say at the very least on site when the news crew arrives and more than 90% of them could probably give a well articulated statement on what recently happened and it still wouldn’t make a difference. They choose the person in the neighborhood who’s  probably the shabbiest, with the most off the top hairstyle and with the least favorable hygiene. Do they do this for ratings? Do they do this purposely, as to say that this is the best person in the “hood” to give the scoop on whats happening? I just don’t get it and may never will. In a world where there are so many stereotypes about what people in the hood look like, dress like, and talk like, this is further fueling people’s misconceptions of life in the “hood”. I yearn to one day at least when I’m watching, see a news crew put someone on the air from the hood to give their account of what just happened and they not sound like the village idiot. In the meanwhile I will never understand their motives behind what I currently see them do and still pose the question: Why did they choose her?