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Question #2

Hello everyone! I’m back today with a new question and I’m posting early in the day for a change. So here we go: Not too long ago, mainly due to the popularity of the Dipset movement, there was a surge in younger and older men in the hood wearing pink fitted caps, button downs, t-shirts, some with sneakers that were  pink and the list goes on.  I for one am not advocate of men wearing pink unless it’s for Breast Cancer Research, another charity of some sort or simply in fine taste. However, I’m only one among many voices and would like to know what others think.” Can a man wear pink without being considered too flamboyant and still be considered masculine at the same time?” Let me know your opinions people!

25 questions #1

Hello all! I haven’t been on in quite some time due to things that I have going on in life outside the internet.  I got a new job, Thanksgiving  has come and go, Black Friday, and a whole host of  other happenings. Anyway, I’m back and here to announce that I’m going to post a series of questions(25 representing the 25 days of Christmas) in the coming days that I would like to see some feedback on as they are questions that affect all of us at one point in our lives and I’m very curious to see the responses these posts get.So, today here’s my first question.  When it comes to seeking new love after a not so good dating/relationship history, does having a wall up to protect your heart  keep you safe or prevent you from receiving the love you want? So, there you go shoot away with your responses and I’ll see you guys tomorrow with another question.

Love the one you with?

It is in my opinion that on the dating scene; you’re success depends on your definition of success and what value that success holds in your life.  There are moments being single on the dating scene in which you may say to yourself: “Being single is the sh#@!” and there are other moments when it’s not going so well and you say, “I’m going to be single forever!”.  The trick to the trade is to find a balance between the two and stay in a generally positive mood for the most part. One of the most interesting ironies I find is when you often see the common scenario where a person is sought after by many suitors but because it’s not the one that they want they often seem unfulfilled and make claims of loneliness. They might entertain these suitors from time to time and may even deal with them on a no strings attached basis (we all need some type of friend besides Jesus lol) but if you were to ask them were they truly happy, if they are honest, they will almost always say no.  To add insult to injury in their situation, they are likely pursuing someone who isn’t interested or can’t be involved with them due to prior obligations (marriage,current relationship,different sexual preference,etc.); sort of like her very own suitors.  How Ironic! So, in short, I guess the real questions are, “Why do we want what we can’t have?” and “Why don’t we want the people who want us as much they want us?”.  Is it that we are so curious about the unknown ? Is it the pull of curiosity outweighs certainty? Is it that we feel that person or those people aren’t challenges and we think we’re settling for less?  The answers to these questions all depends on who  you’re asking because there is truly a method to everyone’s madness.  I think it comes down to two things: standards and morals.  Standards. Most people have standards and naturally some meet them and others don’t. Morals. Some people have a sense of morals and being that they like doing things a certain way they follow their morals to a tee. Unfortunately, there are those out there that no matter who they’re with they are going to never be satisfied due to greed and no one person is enough for them.  When it’s all said and done, and you’re tired of the dating scene, do you continue to be like the old USAF motto and Aim High or what Luther once sung, “Love the one you with”?

Its that time of the year again…ughhhhh

Ladies and gents, it’s that time of the year again. We’re approaching Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks and that’s usually the day that you spend with your family eating way more than you normally would due to the feast that lies in front of you, watch football,  see that cousin who’s on his Thanksgiving vacation from jail (this doesn’t apply to all, it’s sad but true but there are a few fellow people out there who can definitely relate to what this means) catch up with your family as far as whats new in their lives, laugh at your drunk uncle(almost every American family has one) and just plain ol relax! It’s a day off for most and we try to do as little as possible and for many it is also a day to be grateful for. Then there’s that Black Friday sale that you look forward to the following day in which you can rack up on all of those little things that you’ve been waiting for to go on sale, (if you are a prudent shopper like myself, if not kudos to you!)  and come off with a Kings Ransom of goods for your personal enjoyment. Then you have all the Thanksgiving parties at the bowling alleys, bars, clubs and lounges that you can go to and enjoy completely without worrying about going to work the next day because likely you’re off.  Fast forward a month to a month ahead and there you are at Christmas. For myself and countless others this is a day to rejoice for it is the day that we celebrate Jesus Christ’s arrival in this world in a humble manger. For some its just another day and for business minded organizations and people who do don’t really care for the real meaning of Christmas, it’s all about the gifts. Whether you’re a purchaser or receiver, people are serious about their gifts.  There have been breakups and all kinds of craziness going on because of the gift received or given or even more so, the lack thereof.  They say: “It’s better to give than to receive” but try telling that to someone who purchased a PS3 for their mate and all they received is a sweater and some fruitcake! That’s an instant Friday Night Fight!  Then about a week later, we bring in the New Year. This is a time where we go food shopping for our parents(or family members) to get a nice meal for New Year’s Day and to combat those old myths about bringing in the New Year a certain way.  That New Year’s Eve we gear up in our finest, and head to either one or two general destinations, and for some, both. Some people bring in the New Year in their house of worship, others bring their New Year in a bar, restaurant, hotel, lounge, some go to their place of worship first and goes to the latter afterward and then some of us just stay at home and bring in the New Year quietly.  Oh, I forgot to add one thing, drinking! There’s more drinking going on during this one day than Oktoberfest in Germany which lasts for 16 days! Sadly enough, there are more drunk driving accidents and fatalities at this time as well. So be careful folks! Please, know your limits! But overall, this holiday is generally the most festive one!  For single people like myself and others, the picture I just painted is a general view of how I see the holiday season. However, there is a another side of the story for us single people as well. While we’re there stuffing our faces with our fellow brethren, we see the new additions to the family in the form of children and relationships. The children are always so adorable and the couples look like the very definition of love epitomized. We’re not necessarily envious of these beautiful additions to the family, but if you’re a person like myself whom has no children and is single and also a heart; you can’t help but to relish the love formed by those unions and creations (relationships and babies). Those things are what some of us single people would like to have for ourselves at some point in our lives, whether we admit or not. The thought of having someone there for you to right your wrongs, make you feel like you have a partner in this tough, short life and seeing a miniature version of yourself are gifts of love. As single people, depending on your level of activity on the social scene, you may have a few friends or may even be talking to someone with the  possibility of it going somewhere, but the pinnacle of satisfaction is a meaningful, productive and happy relationship. Think about it. As my man Katt Williams said, single people are very happy and exciting people; so as long as they’re out and about! LOL He also said that when they get home and get in that lonely kitchen, it hits them! This is so true for myself and others ! SMH LOL The holiday season heightens those feelings of loneliness to a point where you miss your most recent relationship or at the very least the good parts of it. It has you going down memory lane back to when you were happy, in love, singing love songs, and having spectacular sex!  However, while those holiday parties take your mind away from these thoughts for a little while and are something to look forward to; coming home alone to a cold, empty bed in a lonely dwelling is  so not cool and for some a dark place in life! LOL There are times when I say to myself, “It’s that time of the year again…ughhhhh” and its then that I prepare myself for those feelings of being alone in order to combat further negative thoughts and actions. I also use that thought as reminder to be grateful for all the things in my life because things can be much worse and for some they actually are.  Nevertheless, I encourage all to do what I do and make the best out of this holiday season and life in general.

Where are they now?

More often than not these days when I flip the channel on my TV, I begin to wonder what happened to all the good Tv shows? While there is some interesting programming on Tv nowadays thanks to the age of reality tv, Youtube on your pc and all things portable, I find these choices hard pressed to compete with some of the shows of past and recent past. Think about it, what talk show has been as interesting and entertaining as the Arsenio Hall Show? What show has made you laugh until you’re about to piss in your pants since the Chappelle Show or In Living Color? What show besides Law&Order has been a must see since NY Undercover? Exactly. None. While some people may or may not remember these shows, me and my peers grew up on these shows they were all absolute MUST SEE TV, and if you missed it, you felt like you missed out on winning lottery ticket, because all of your friends would be talking about it and you would in obscurity until the rerun aired. No DVR , no HULU, nothing. You just had to be there to see it. Lately Tv just hasn’t impressed me with the exception of a few shows and the last two I did find interesting are no longer airing(SouthLand- NBC & Life on Mars-ABC).  While I know cable Tv has its multiple options and such, I often hear gripes from people who do have cable similar to this, “Why am I paying for this garbage, there’s almost never anything on I want to see!”.  Even the cartoons nowadays are completely wack. Remember getting up early as hell before your parents woke up on Saturday morning to watch cartoons such as, Voltron, Transformers, He Man, school house rock, Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Looney Tunes,the Snorks, the Monchchichi’s, and what about on those afternoons you’d rush home to watch Tom & Jerry, the Rescue Rangers, HeathCliffe, Dennis the Menace, the Original TMNT and for slightly younger heads, Ducktales ,Tailspin, Animaniacs and the Tiny Toon Adventures.  Now we’re subjected to all kinds of craziness on Tv, cartoons almost never come on in the afternoon anymore and we wonder why our kids nowadays are so damn grown! We took their childhood away thats why! In this day and age you can always walk down memory lane if you’re feeling nostalgic and go to either Youtube and watch clips of your old shows or maybe if your taste is not too exclusive you can get the show’s seasons on DVD.  I also wonder what were they thinking when they took some of these shows off the air, ratings is always the scapegoat, but more often than not, the true reason is often greed and the common “creative differences” excuse us as viewers are left with. Look at the Chappelle show, that was a funny ass show! Hands down there was no competitor to that show’s humor and creativity. However, it is a widely shared speculation that the show was yanked off of the air because they wanted to interfere with Dave’s concepts and the writing of the scripts. Dave was not having that as that show was mostly his and Neal Brennan’s idea. Also from what I’ve heard the people from the network also never really went after the 50$million they gave Dave, because they were for one still able to recoup from merchandising and DVD sales and also, the possibility of a counter suit against them for what would’ve been racial discrimination. This type of ordeal happens often in Tv land and in Hollywood and is truly unfair. I don’t know if I’ll ever see Tv as good as it was before, but when I think back on memory lane, about all of the good shows I’ve seen over the years, I always ask while flipping the channels back and forth, “Where are they now?”.

Let’s see what happens

One of the most commonly asked questions when you meet someone of the opposite sex that you’re potentially interested in is, “So what are you looking for?”. This question is a staple of those who are experienced in the dating scene as it almost lets you know whether or not you’re wasting time with this individual, whether or not you’d like to date them and so on. This question albeit a good one is not a complete telltale of what the person you’re asking the question is really looking for. This is due in part to deceit, confusion, and my least favorite, grandiose unrealistic expectations. Anyone familiar with Coming to America, can share a laugh on this because it shows all three examples. Take for instance the scene when Hakeem (Eddie Murphy) and Semi (Arsenio Hall) were looking at potential dates for Hakeem in the club. There was the one lady whom said, I want to be a model, then I want to be an actress, and later a singer a model, a director, and she goes on and on. SMH LOL Not only was her bit funny but it could be used to the example of someone with grandiose unrealistic expectations. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone for sticking to their dreams but, we all have to start somewhere and judging by the way she was, that wasn’t likely going to happen anytime soon as she would’ve jumping from one thing to the other more often than sticking to one thing first. There was the woman that Hakeem and Semi met at the club that was attractive and seemed like a good catch until she told them that “she worships the devil” and that could easily be used as an example of deceit as looks can be at times. Finally, there’s the female that wasn’t a female played by Arsenio who wanted to “tear them apart”. LMAO. That is too funny. Now the reason I say this one represents confusion because like today’s society there are more and more people of opposite sexes confused about their sexuality. This can be attributed to a variety of things from past childhood experiences, to the seemingly new fad of being bisexual and society’s current acceptance of allowing everyone to express themselves sexually. Additionally, I’ve discovered another trend of women that appear to be straight when you meet them but when you really get to know them, you find out about a bi-curious past /present which you never expected from someone whom seemingly liked only men. So instead of giving a person the opportunity to lie to me, when I ask them what do they want in the opposite sex, I take what they say only with a grain of salt, because regardless of what they tell me, I’m always going to be saying in the back of my mind, “Lets see what happens”

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Out of town love

For those of you out there that keep up with sports or not, this year’s World Series puts the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies vs. the New York Yankees.  Being Jersey born and raised one would think my natural choice for who I pick to win this series would be the Yankees. Not so fast.  Although I have respect for some of the local teams in my area (a fact I’ll never admit to my boys) I don’t particularly root for the home team.  Now, I know, I know, some of you must be thinking, damn this guy is a jerk and “what planet is he from?”.  Well you’re more than entitled to your opinion. Watching sports since I can remember, I’ve always noticed that the home teams in this area rub me the wrong way inadvertently in some form or another.  For instance, growing up, I was a San Francisco 49ers fan and not only that, Joe Montana was an idol in my eyes.   I used to dream I was Jerry Rice as me and my friends played street football and I put my all into playing football at any given moment.  So anyway, back in 1990 when my team played against the New York Giants in the NFC championship game, and I watched as Leonard Marshall hit my idol and not only give my idol a bruised sternum, bruised stomach, cracked ribs, and a broken hand, I was heartbroken. I can even admit that I cried as I saw them take Joe off the field and saw Joe play for the last time as 49er. That was strike number one. Fast forward to the 2000-2001 Super bowl and you find the Giants vs. the Ravens and I’m actually rooting for the Giants to win because I’m completely pissed off at the Ravens for beating my 13-3 Tennessee Titans and knocking them out of the playoffs. The end result: the Giants never showed up for the game, Ravens 34, Giants 7. That about did it right there! I catch flak all the time from the local fans about my team selection and they further annoy me by being so pretentious and obnoxious when their team wins a few games . This is what makes me seek other teams to maintain my own individuality and also, there is the fact that I like other teams outside this area for a lot of reasons. For one, I base my preference on team culture, style of play, and the players talent. Next, I choose teams that I liken myself to as far as having the characteristics of perseverance, resilience, and heart.  When I like a team I do not switch sides no matter how bad it gets even if that means getting clowned by the locals here and there. I’ve seen my Phillies go through an enormous amount of suffering throughout the years dating all the way back to Joe Carter killing us with a walk off home run back in 1993 to win the World Series. I think personally that I will almost never go for a hometown team again and will stay with my out of town love. In the meanwhile, Go Phillies!

Why did they choose her?

While doing my usual thing of watching the almost perpetually depressing evening news while eating dinner, I posed what I find to be a very  interesting question.  When a tragic crime such as a shooting, stabbing etc. happens in a urban area, “Why do they always choose Boomquesha or someone with a ghetto name to interview on what happened?” I’m all for getting everyone’s account of what happened so that everyone watching can be informed, but damn, thats who they pick? There could be 10-15 decent looking people who look like they have something interesting/intelligent to say at the very least on site when the news crew arrives and more than 90% of them could probably give a well articulated statement on what recently happened and it still wouldn’t make a difference. They choose the person in the neighborhood who’s  probably the shabbiest, with the most off the top hairstyle and with the least favorable hygiene. Do they do this for ratings? Do they do this purposely, as to say that this is the best person in the “hood” to give the scoop on whats happening? I just don’t get it and may never will. In a world where there are so many stereotypes about what people in the hood look like, dress like, and talk like, this is further fueling people’s misconceptions of life in the “hood”. I yearn to one day at least when I’m watching, see a news crew put someone on the air from the hood to give their account of what just happened and they not sound like the village idiot. In the meanwhile I will never understand their motives behind what I currently see them do and still pose the question: Why did they choose her?