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Gold diggers

Hello all,

I know its Tuesday and  I was supposed to have written a post yesterday, but my writings only come out of inspiration and yesterday I wasn’t inspired. LOL Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend, I know I did despite not being able to catch the new Kevin Hart movie, Laugh at my pain. I will catch it though, just need to get a date to bring with me. Hmmm, I have to ponder on that one. Today’s subject is often a controversial one as it stirs up emotions/feelings from both sexes. The term “gold diggers” is defined by urbandictionary.com as “ a female who admires successful men as opposed to mediocre and unaccomplished men”. She lives by the code “lack of money can’t buy love and happiness”.  She can often be found at major sporting events, concerts, the clubs, bars and  anywhere in a neighborhood near you. However, the website also mentions that: “While some gold diggers are males… they are overwhelmingly females since older wealthy women can’t birth children which is a major stumbling block and deterrent to male gold digging”. So as you can see, I’m not picking on just women, gold diggers come in both forms.  Today, I’m talking about the women as I can only relate from my own personal dating experiences. Sorry ladies. In my experiences, I’ve found dealing with a gold digger is quite appalling. It is a turn off  for myself and other men because that person is primarily dealing with you on the strength of your pockets and what they can obtain from them for their own personal gratification. This is detrimental to relationships everywhere because it often it often plants the seeds of mistrust and deceit in the hearts of men who are actually out there looking for someone to be there for who they are not what they have. Particularly, successful men. The gold digger experience often creates a personal conflict within the mind of a self made man as he’s constantly wondering whether the lady he’s with is there for the way he makes her feel and how he treats her or because he takes her out to fancy places and buys her Christian Louboutin shoes. I’ve learned, sometimes it is not easy to spot whether or not the woman you are involved with or plan to be involved with is a gold digger or not. Yes, they are quite crafty at times. Take this example into consideration.  I was shopping at Walmart, and noticed this one particular woman who was the epitome of beauty/body all in one. I glanced for a second and resumed my shopping and as I’m passing by the dvd section of the store, the same woman I was just admiring purposely bumps into me and then smiles at me. Of course, I bit the bait, I was as vulnerable as a fish being shot at in a barrel of water. We exchanged pleasantries and numbers and I resumed my shopping. The first few weeks of us hanging out was great! The sex was phenomenal, she had her own job, car and place and was a sweetheart. It was seeming too good to be true. Almost on cue, as always, it was. Come to find out, she was losing her place, behind on her car note, and on not necessarily in good graces with her employer due to her attendance problems. Naturally as a man who doesn’t believe in letting his friends hang out to dry when they’re in a bad predicament, I extended what help I could to her. Boy,was I in for it. SMH Before you know it, I was starting to notice every time we went out to eat whether it was Baskin Robbins or AppleBee’s she was ordering the most expensive items offered. At first, I didn’t say anything as I thought, “well maybe she just  has particular taste and there’s nothing wrong with that as I have the same”.  This blog is named after for people with distinct and unique interests anyway. So as time carried on, I noticed she started asking me to buy her expensive perfume among other things. I gave in at the beginning as I was thinking this was going to be my woman and I don’t mind doing nice things for my lady. However, it dawned on me that every time I didn’t communicate something the way she liked, disagreed with her or simply said no to her spoiled ways, she had an attitude only Satan could compare with. As time grew on, I concurrently grew more and more skeptical of her intent when it came to dealing with me. We eventually stopped talking for a little while and moved on or so I thought. One day out of nowhere she gives me a call and asks me to help her because she was stranded on the side of the road somewhere supposedly going to a job interview. At the time I was working and already had attendance issues with my job due to my mother’s ailing health. I told her as soon as I could get my boss to give me the ok, I would come to her rescue. Time passed on and when I finally got the green light from my boss, she told me that she didn’t want me to come get her or change her tire but give her the money to get her car fixed. I was through! That was the last straw and I left her to her own resources. I then asked her whether or not she was dealing with me for the things I could do or for the person I am and she wasn’t able to answer that as she sidestepped the question with other nonsense. That was one situation and I’m sure there are millions of them like it and even more graphic than this. I refuse to deal with someone who will deal with me for what I have because at the end of the day if I suddenly am broke, she will be nowhere to be found and in the arms of the next benefactor she finds.  In the end, I’ve come up with this conclusion : A woman should be able to provide for herself financially with or without a man. Now if she’s unable to provider for herself under certain specific circumstances, then she should be able to get that support from her other half. Otherwise that’s just plain lazy/old-fashioned and they usually fall into the gold digger/leech category.A woman who allows her finances to be dictated by someone she isn’t even married to is taking a gamble and as they say if you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail! If he has money, then he has money not y’all! He can leave you and leave you hanging at any point of the relationship and you’ll be powerless in the relationship. Feel free to share your personal experiences and thoughts.

Good Night All.

I’m back!/friends

Hello all,

Its been a while since I’ve updated or even glanced at this blog. I missed all of you dearly, but as you know life has its own plans and can be a full-time job in itself.  In that time, I’ve gained and lost two jobs, lost my mom to Cancer in May of this year and quite a few other things that have made my plate full. This time around I’m going to do my best to keep the topics interesting, posts often, and hopefully I can retain your attention in the process. So, my birthday is the 25th, and I’m celebrating in Vegas. Does anyone have any suggestions on what are some interesting things to do out there? This will be my first trip out there, money isn’t really an issue and I’m going solo as my friends are victims of the recession. So any suggestions given will be appreciated. In the meanwhile, I have a question for y’all. Don’t you hate it when you have friends that you want to believe in when it comes to relying on them, you give them a lot of chances and they let you down?  I have a friend with whom I came up with the idea of going to Vegas as a good way to celebrate my birthday and we talked about all of the fun we could have, things we could do out there and even went into specifics as far as what hotel we would stay and etc. We talked about it quite a few times and every time we got down to the actual planning, they went AWOL. The first excuse was that they wanted to talk to someone who they’ve supposedly been there with about some of the hot spots there and call me back so we can finish the reservations. Not! Two weeks later(shaking my head as I type this), they’re not answering their phone until I hit them up with a text saying that I’m going to start the reservation process over again. I’m thinking, “cool, not leaving for another 3 weeks, so I guess I can still get some kind of deal”. So as I’m making the reservations I say,” Look, let me know before I purchase this ticket if you’re really going because I know how you do!”. They bs’d me again they told me that they left their laptop cord with a friend and that they will call me the next morning so we can simultaneously book our trip. Of course, the call never came and I sent them a text saying that I was making the reservations with no exceptions and then they responded as expected. They told me they’ll call me back again just to check out their money situation. They surprised me and text me back saying that they wont be financially ready for the trip until two days after I originally scheduled to be back home. SMH. All of that just to let me down? I told them I’m going without you as I’m not trying to be in town for my Bday.  I don’t understand why they didn’t just say that in the first place, as I would’ve booked my trip a long time ago and got a better rate but I’m still going anyway! Hopefully I will still have a ball even though I’ll be by myself out there. Anyhow, my question for you is, “would you keep this person as a friend or stay away from them for being a notorious bs’er?”

Question #16

Hello All! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and all that good stuff! I’m a little late on the Christmas and early on the New Year, but its the thought that counts! LOL Anyway, I’ve been on hiatus due to the holiday and the start of what I hope to be a great new beginning! I’ll be mostly writing my posts at night due to a change in my daily scheduling but I will most definitely keep coming at you all with the topics! Hope you enjoy today’s subject! 2009 as we know it is almost over. We have yet but a couple of days in this eventful year. This year we began the first year of an African American White House Administration, loss our Beloved Gloved One, and a whole host of others mostly during the summer and a few after. This has been a year of tears, fears, a slight recovery from the recession that has plagued us and innovations galore. This has been the year in which we had a brave man land on a river in a plane and survive with all surviving and a lot of tempers from the Middle East and Korea rising. So my question for you is, “With all of the events that have happened this year, which one surprised you the most?”

Question#15

Hello everyone! We have only have two days before Christmas! I hope you all have been nice this year and not naughty! LOL Here’s today’s post.  Many of us act like we don’t do it but we do. We’re looking at all of the other things in the newspaper but we all wind up on the horoscope section at some point and time. Then there’s the commonly said phrase,” I don’t believe in that stuff!”. Whatever. If such is the case you wouldn’t even glance in that section of the newspaper or go online to that horoscope page or website. We all as humans have a natural curiosity about the unknown and what our future may hold.  Whether you’re a Cancer and you wonder if you’re going to get that promotion or a Libra(the best in my opinion,hint, hint) who wants to know if love is in the cards for the near future, we all follow those predictions just to see if there is an inkling of relevance to our personal life. Some may even follow the charts so religiously that they may not date someone whom is a particular sign out of fear that it wont work out.  There are others whom are simply tuned into it so much that they worry about whether or not their sign is in a certain state such as one’s sign being in Jupiter or such. That’s where it gets confusing for  me and I just sit back and watch what happens in life naturally. I can admit though, when reading some of the books on this subject, there are some traits that are associated with certain signs that hold to be true for the most part when it comes to people who fall under that particular sign. In spite of this, I ultimately believe all of us are individuals and should be dealt with accordingly. My question for all today is “does Astrology have any bearings on your thoughts or decisions that you make or do you not follow them at all”? As always comments are deeply appreciated.

Question#14

Hello everyone! Christmas is only 3 days away, have you done all your shopping? I hope so. In the meanwhile, enjoy today’s subject! Yesterday marked the official start of winter , our coldest season to endure. This is a time where we are hit with cold to freezing rain, snow, icy roads, wind chill factors and many other variants of displeasure. As a kid you have the snowball fights, snow days  away from school and  particularly for the boys, football in the snow. This is definitely a unique time of the year for all. This is also a period of time when the most relationships and babies are conceived. I think this is a direct result of  not being able to get out as much as people normally do during the other seasons. There is also a stigma out there that many believe people get together in the winter and break up in the spring. SMH. They say these people get together because its cold and you need someone to be “cuddled up” with to keep you warm during this cold season. Then, when its warm you no longer have the need for that person to keep you warm. SMH While I find this concept juvenile albeit funny at the same time, it is reality for some and happening as I write this post. This is truly the season of feelings LOL.  So my question for you guys today is, “Have you ever been in a  winter until spring relationship?”  As always comments are appreciated.

Question #13

Hello all! I hope you all enjoyed your weekend as its back to the rat race today. A lot of us in the northeast got hit with a lot of snow over the weekend and as a result were snowed in. Anyway, I hope you enjoy todays post as the snow melts outside. While in the house this weekend, I got the chance to listen to the radio and as I listened, I thought to myself, “I haven’t really listened to the radio in quite some time”. As a matter of fact the truth of the matter is that I hardly listen to the radio. With the invention of Ipods, mp3 players, internet radio, satellite radio and an endless amount of Cds available I find that I’m not the only one. Some people listen to radio in their car on the way to work, at work(if it’s permitted) or running their errands but I think thats where a majority  of the listening ends. Before Tv’s invention radio was it. All of your favorite shows and news came from that box in the living room that the family gathered around. Even after Tv was invented, we still had radio pioneers like the great Hal Jackson, Petey Green, Frankie Crocker and many others to carry the torch and provide us with some great listening sessions. They played all the songs that we loved, hated, and adored. We cried, laughed, jammed and shared countless emotions while hearing these tunes. They provided us with the news of the death of MLK, the space shuttle disasters, the Atlanta child murders of the 80′s and many other events. We still have great radio talents on the air today as we still have the great Hal Jackson on the radio on Sundays  on WBLS at 94 years old(pretty amazing in my opinion to still be doing his thing) , we have the Steve Harvey morning show, some have the Tom Joyner show, the Ed Lover show and even the Angie Martinez show. Wendy Williams also had a great following until she recently made the transition to the small screen. Also while we have the age of “reality Tv” peaking people are simply tuning in less. Some complain that the stations only play certain artists, others say they are tired of hearing the same songs over and over and some just don’t have the time as they watch Tv or are on the internet. “While those mentioned are the exception in radio do you think listening to the radio is slowly becoming extinct as a form of entertainment?” As always comments are appreciated.

Question #12

Hello Everyone! Today is Friday! TGIF! Aren’t you glad that we made it to this day! Of course you are! This is the last post of the week so, enjoy!  Yesterday after speaking with a dear friend of mines we came up with today’s question. (thanks Crys!) In life, mostly everyone that gives a damn about their life and their position in it are trying to strive for the better. Some of us are going to school while working, working two jobs, getting enhanced job training,studying classes to open their own business and many other things. In other words we are all trying to be like cream and rise to the top as once said by a colleague of mines. The Bible even speaks of this with this paraphrased verse:”To whom much is given, much is required”. It takes hard work to attain the goals we set for ourselves and our future well being. Typically, the more arduous it is to get where you want, the bigger the reward tends to be. I tip my hat off to those out there who are going about this alone. I believe they often have it the hardest. They go about seeking out an enhanced life without the support of others and the constant push of others that is often needed. Working hard to achieve your goals is noble in the sense that instead of remaining complacent with your current status, you choose to dig deep within yourself and seek a higher status or calling in life. Friends to give advice along the way while you’re having a discouraging moment and  family to just give any kind of support whether it be financial, emotional, mental, or something simple as watching your kids for you while you study, is essential to one’s success. You count on these two groups of people to be your backbone when you feel there is none and your strength in time of weakness. It is also important that these individuals are positive, want the best for you, are not “haters” and most importantly in my opinion, don’t have any ulterior motives behind their help. When are surrounded by an all star cast of such great people, there is often no limit to what you can become! This is why I say, that those whom make it without a supporting cast are truly special! So, my question today for all of you out there, is what do you do when all of the family and friends you depend upon for support and guidance are the most negative people around you? Please feel free to comment on this issue as it may help many others including yourselves. Enjoy your weekend and I’ll see you all on Monday!