Gold diggers

Hello all,

I know its Tuesday and  I was supposed to have written a post yesterday, but my writings only come out of inspiration and yesterday I wasn’t inspired. LOL Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend, I know I did despite not being able to catch the new Kevin Hart movie, Laugh at my pain. I will catch it though, just need to get a date to bring with me. Hmmm, I have to ponder on that one. Today’s subject is often a controversial one as it stirs up emotions/feelings from both sexes. The term “gold diggers” is defined by urbandictionary.com as ” a female who admires successful men as opposed to mediocre and unaccomplished men”. She lives by the code “lack of money can’t buy love and happiness”.  She can often be found at major sporting events, concerts, the clubs, bars and  anywhere in a neighborhood near you. However, the website also mentions that: “While some gold diggers are males… they are overwhelmingly females since older wealthy women can’t birth children which is a major stumbling block and deterrent to male gold digging”. So as you can see, I’m not picking on just women, gold diggers come in both forms.  Today, I’m talking about the women as I can only relate from my own personal dating experiences. Sorry ladies. In my experiences, I’ve found dealing with a gold digger is quite appalling. It is a turn off  for myself and other men because that person is primarily dealing with you on the strength of your pockets and what they can obtain from them for their own personal gratification. This is detrimental to relationships everywhere because it often it often plants the seeds of mistrust and deceit in the hearts of men who are actually out there looking for someone to be there for who they are not what they have. Particularly, successful men. The gold digger experience often creates a personal conflict within the mind of a self made man as he’s constantly wondering whether the lady he’s with is there for the way he makes her feel and how he treats her or because he takes her out to fancy places and buys her Christian Louboutin shoes. I’ve learned, sometimes it is not easy to spot whether or not the woman you are involved with or plan to be involved with is a gold digger or not. Yes, they are quite crafty at times. Take this example into consideration.  I was shopping at Walmart, and noticed this one particular woman who was the epitome of beauty/body all in one. I glanced for a second and resumed my shopping and as I’m passing by the dvd section of the store, the same woman I was just admiring purposely bumps into me and then smiles at me. Of course, I bit the bait, I was as vulnerable as a fish being shot at in a barrel of water. We exchanged pleasantries and numbers and I resumed my shopping. The first few weeks of us hanging out was great! The sex was phenomenal, she had her own job, car and place and was a sweetheart. It was seeming too good to be true. Almost on cue, as always, it was. Come to find out, she was losing her place, behind on her car note, and on not necessarily in good graces with her employer due to her attendance problems. Naturally as a man who doesn’t believe in letting his friends hang out to dry when they’re in a bad predicament, I extended what help I could to her. Boy,was I in for it. SMH Before you know it, I was starting to notice every time we went out to eat whether it was Baskin Robbins or AppleBee’s she was ordering the most expensive items offered. At first, I didn’t say anything as I thought, “well maybe she just  has particular taste and there’s nothing wrong with that as I have the same”.  This blog is named after for people with distinct and unique interests anyway. So as time carried on, I noticed she started asking me to buy her expensive perfume among other things. I gave in at the beginning as I was thinking this was going to be my woman and I don’t mind doing nice things for my lady. However, it dawned on me that every time I didn’t communicate something the way she liked, disagreed with her or simply said no to her spoiled ways, she had an attitude only Satan could compare with. As time grew on, I concurrently grew more and more skeptical of her intent when it came to dealing with me. We eventually stopped talking for a little while and moved on or so I thought. One day out of nowhere she gives me a call and asks me to help her because she was stranded on the side of the road somewhere supposedly going to a job interview. At the time I was working and already had attendance issues with my job due to my mother’s ailing health. I told her as soon as I could get my boss to give me the ok, I would come to her rescue. Time passed on and when I finally got the green light from my boss, she told me that she didn’t want me to come get her or change her tire but give her the money to get her car fixed. I was through! That was the last straw and I left her to her own resources. I then asked her whether or not she was dealing with me for the things I could do or for the person I am and she wasn’t able to answer that as she sidestepped the question with other nonsense. That was one situation and I’m sure there are millions of them like it and even more graphic than this. I refuse to deal with someone who will deal with me for what I have because at the end of the day if I suddenly am broke, she will be nowhere to be found and in the arms of the next benefactor she finds.  In the end, I’ve come up with this conclusion : A woman should be able to provide for herself financially with or without a man. Now if she’s unable to provider for herself under certain specific circumstances, then she should be able to get that support from her other half. Otherwise that’s just plain lazy/old-fashioned and they usually fall into the gold digger/leech category.A woman who allows her finances to be dictated by someone she isn’t even married to is taking a gamble and as they say if you don’t have a plan, you plan to fail! If he has money, then he has money not y’all! He can leave you and leave you hanging at any point of the relationship and you’ll be powerless in the relationship. Feel free to share your personal experiences and thoughts.

Good Night All.

I’m back!/friends

Hello all,

Its been a while since I’ve updated or even glanced at this blog. I missed all of you dearly, but as you know life has its own plans and can be a full-time job in itself.  In that time, I’ve gained and lost two jobs, lost my mom to Cancer in May of this year and quite a few other things that have made my plate full. This time around I’m going to do my best to keep the topics interesting, posts often, and hopefully I can retain your attention in the process. So, my birthday is the 25th, and I’m celebrating in Vegas. Does anyone have any suggestions on what are some interesting things to do out there? This will be my first trip out there, money isn’t really an issue and I’m going solo as my friends are victims of the recession. So any suggestions given will be appreciated. In the meanwhile, I have a question for y’all. Don’t you hate it when you have friends that you want to believe in when it comes to relying on them, you give them a lot of chances and they let you down?  I have a friend with whom I came up with the idea of going to Vegas as a good way to celebrate my birthday and we talked about all of the fun we could have, things we could do out there and even went into specifics as far as what hotel we would stay and etc. We talked about it quite a few times and every time we got down to the actual planning, they went AWOL. The first excuse was that they wanted to talk to someone who they’ve supposedly been there with about some of the hot spots there and call me back so we can finish the reservations. Not! Two weeks later(shaking my head as I type this), they’re not answering their phone until I hit them up with a text saying that I’m going to start the reservation process over again. I’m thinking, “cool, not leaving for another 3 weeks, so I guess I can still get some kind of deal”. So as I’m making the reservations I say,” Look, let me know before I purchase this ticket if you’re really going because I know how you do!”. They bs’d me again they told me that they left their laptop cord with a friend and that they will call me the next morning so we can simultaneously book our trip. Of course, the call never came and I sent them a text saying that I was making the reservations with no exceptions and then they responded as expected. They told me they’ll call me back again just to check out their money situation. They surprised me and text me back saying that they wont be financially ready for the trip until two days after I originally scheduled to be back home. SMH. All of that just to let me down? I told them I’m going without you as I’m not trying to be in town for my Bday.  I don’t understand why they didn’t just say that in the first place, as I would’ve booked my trip a long time ago and got a better rate but I’m still going anyway! Hopefully I will still have a ball even though I’ll be by myself out there. Anyhow, my question for you is, “would you keep this person as a friend or stay away from them for being a notorious bs’er?”